May is here and after that, the end of the course. we wrote about fear,poems, history, etc. let's smile a bit!
can you write something funny or curious you know, or something you read or did? including jokes, hahaha.
For example: what is worse than finding a worm when you bite an apple?............................... to find half a worm hehehehehehehe.
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Oookk!!!! Now I have a joke!! Listen pleasee:
A man visits God and says "God, do you mind if I ask you a
few questions?"
God says "No, ask me anything at all."
So the man says "God, you've been around for a very long time,
so, for you, how long is a thousand years?"
God replies "For me, a thousand years is only five minutes."
The man then says "That's interesting God. And, for you,
how much is a million dollars?"
God replies "For me, a million dollars is only five cents."
The man says "Really? Well then God, could you lend me
five cents please?"
God looks at the man, smiles, and says "Of course my son.
Just wait five minutes!"
Alba Sánchez Fernández 4ºA
Two marriages are walking for the street and the husbands go behind the women. A man says to other one:
- Look at my wife’s fat ass, it looks like a wash-machine!!
And the woman didn’t say anything.
At night when they were in the bed and the husband says to her:
- My loveeee! We are going to work a bit!
And the woman says:
- I’m not going to put the wash-machine for a wrinkled sock!!!
Jessika García Ruiz 4ºA
There are two tomatoes in a refrigerator:
One says: - It’s very cold brother!!!
This one shout: - Ahhhhhhhh!!! A tomato is talking!!!!!!
Alba Shánchez Fernández & Jessika García Ruiz 4ºA
denisa maria tudor
These are two boys on a bicycle and who is in the middle falls through the window.
A new rich circulates to 200 kilometers per hour aboard his brand-new mercedes. A dog crosses her path and the man suffered a brutal accident. The ambulance moved to the new rich, half dead to the hospital. There, regaining consciousness, she asked about what happened:
-- What happened?
- You encountered a serious traffic accident-the doctor replied.
-- Will my car and my brand new mercedes? Asks alarmed.
The doctor, surprised replied: - How can you worry about the car when he lost his left arm in the accident?
-- Have I lost his left arm, Doctor?
- I fear that if.
-¡¡¡¡¡ Oh my God .... MY ROLEXXXX !!!!!!!!!!!!
In a restaurant:
-- And how Mr wants their eggs?
-- So with all my soul!
They are Moses, Jesus and a little old woman playing golf. Strikes Moses and the ball goes to water. It approaches the lake, makes the waters are opened, hits, and hole in two strokes.
It is incumbent upon Jesus. Strikes and the ball goes to water, but, of course, instead of sinking, fleet. It was about Jesus walking on water, hits, and hole in two.
Lastly, it is up to the old man. Strikes and the ball goes to water. But just before fall, leaving a fish and catch the ball. Before the fall the fish in water, a gull caught the fish and leads him flying. Appears suddenly a falcon, which frightens the gull and it, therefore, release the fish, which in turn spits the ball, which describes a parable that leads directly to the hole, and hole in one. And Jesus said:-Look, Dad, you start to falter if we leave, huh?
This was a family so poor, so poor and so poor ........ that were purchased by pulling a shotgun to go.
Burial to a millionaire who has made an immense fortune as their heirs. one of those attending the funeral cries bereaved, and someone asks:
-- Are you family?
- No, I`m not, therefore crie!
- Dear, I know you've done fortune.Tell me really everything.
- Yes, I did a lot of money, I've been selling pigeons.
-- Ah, goes well and how many were sold?
- One, but always returns home.
good things, if they're brief... leave you wanting more!
Alba Sánchez Fernández
This is a class that the teacher says to them:
-Boys when Zapatero goes down the car all him speak well, well!.
-When he rises for the stairs him speak that repeats it, that repeats it!.
-And when between in the class him Zapatero, Zapatero!.
There comes Zapatero, fall of the car and treads on a shit, and the whole class well, well!!.
He rises for the stairs and falls and the whole class that repeats it, that repeats it!.
In the class and a boy throws a fart to himself and the teacher asks the one who has been?
And the class answers Zapatero, Zapatero!!
NanNd0k
Fernando Granado Pizarro 4ºC
A old person was sitting in a bench. In this moment, a teenager sit next to the ancient. The teenager has a strange look: he has green and red hair. The ancient stare the teen, and the teen say:
-What's happening? Don't you ever make a madness?
- Yes, of course. When I was young, I had sex with a parrot and now I think what you may mi son...
XD
Bárbara Lobato Delgado 4º A
User: - Don’t take that attitude with me!
Dewey: - Which one? I have quite a few.
User: - It was your tone.
Dewey: - You asked for a book recommendation. I offered you several choices.
User: - But you were so smug and knowing about it.
Dewey: - I’ll send out someone more ignorant to help you.
Carlos Lirio Mosquera 4ºA
- Dad, three months ago, someone stole your VISA, and you don't denounced.
- Yes, I discovered that the thief spends less than your mother!!
hahaha.
Carlos Lirio Mosquera
A bachelor goes to the refrigerator and says: the same thing of always, and he goes to the bed.
A married goes to the bed and says: the same thing of always, and he goes to the refrigerator.
Carlos Lirio Mosquera 4ºA
- Maria, when I die I want that you marry with Antonio.
- But, why? If he is your worse enemy!
- Because of it, fuck him!
Carlos Lirio Mosquera 4ºA
- Were you a civil servant, not? In the evenings you don't work.
- Not, in the evenings I don't go, when I don't work is in the mornings.
Carlos Lirio Mosquera 4ºA
An Italian, a Frenchman and a Mexican went for a job interview in England. Before the interview, they were told that they must compose a sentence
in English with three main words: green, pink, and yellow.
The Italian was first: "I wake up in the morning. I see the yellow sun. I see the green grass and I think to myself, I hope it will be a pink day."
The Frenchman was next: "I wake up in the morning, I eat a yellow banana, a green pepper and in the evening I watch the pink panther
on TV."
Last one was the Mexican: "I wake up in the morning, I hear the phone "green...green...", I pink up the phone and I say "Yellow?"...
Mª Teresa Herrero Silva 4ºA
Esther gómez Benítez 4ºA
A customer goes in a post office and he says:
-Give me a stamp of 2 €
-Here you are. Would you like anything else?
-Yes. Can you take off the price of the stamp? , it is for a present…
Esther Gómez Benítez 4ºA
A father and his son were speaking when the son asked something to his father:
-Father, where is the Teide?.
-I don’t know, you ask it to your mother, who is the person that keeps everything.
Esther Gómez Benítez 4ºA
Two olives are doing mountaineering and an olive falls and shouts:
- Ow!,Ow! I believe that my bone is broken.
And the other olive answers:
- But, how have you broken a bone, if we are stuff of anchovy?
These jokes aren’t very good.
In the excursion to Toledo,I pass something graceful to us, since it was raining and there were put the sunshades of the Corpus Cristi.
I stop raining and we close the umbrellas and suddenly I keep silent about a water heap to other boys nearly it us falls to us that fright...It was through the fault of the sunshames from there we had care.
Raquel Fernándes Pulido.4A
Today my daughter expires 18 years ... and I am very satisfied because it is the last payment of nourishing pension since he me gets divorced from his mother, so I called my little girl in order that it was coming to my house and when it came I said to him:- " Little girl, I want that you take this check to house of your mom and say to him that this one is the last damned check that goes to receive of me!! And I ask you please to say to me the expression that it puts in his face. " So my daughter went to deliver the check. I was eager to know what the witch had to say and that expensive I would put. When my little girl entered I asked him immediately: - " what was what your mother said to you? " - " Good ... she laughed very much ... and she said to me that it was waiting this day to say to you that YOU ARE NOT my dad.
Raquel Fernández Pulido. 4A
What is the difference between a cat and a dog, Dogs think: Humans are benevolent, they feed me, and take care of me, so they must be Gods; cats instead think: HUmans are benevolent, they feed me, and take care of me, so I must be God.
JACOBO MUÑOZ DE LA ROSA 4ºC
This is a class of school where Zapatero is going to visit it and the teacher says the pupils how they must conduct:
-First: when he gets out of the car all the pupils say well, well, well...
-Second: when he goes up stairs all the pupils have to say that he repeats it, he repeats it, he repeats it...
-Thirt: when he enters at the class all the pupils have to say Zapatero, Zapatero, Zapatero...
The next day, Zapatero arrives at the school, he get out of the car and he tread shit and all the pupils start good, good, good..., when he goes up the stairs he falls and all the pupils start, he repeats it, he repeats it, hhe repeats it... and when he arrives at the class a boy burps fart and the teacher says: how has been? and all pupils start Zapatero, Zapatero, Zapatero...
----------------------------------
A patient came to his dentist with problems with his teeth.
Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?
Dentist: wear a brown tie!
Aitor Chico Sordo 4ºC
in Toledo an old man did a cut of sleeves to us, because we are fans of Real Madrid.
Álvaro Medina Muñoz
Alba Sánchez Fdz. & Jessica García Ruiz
How is died the man who invented the bed of stone?
hehehehehe
.......
A
PIECE
OF
PILLOW !!!!!!!!!!!
Jessi & Alba
.......
A
PIECE
OF
PILLOW !!!!!!!!!!!
Jessi & Alba
They are a brother and sister in bed practising sex.
The sister tells the brother "have the biggest penis that dad"
And the brother replied "because, as I have said mom"
JOSE MANUEL CREGO CREGO 4ºA
It has eyes, but it can't see.
It has wings, but it can't fly.
It has beak, but it can't peck.
It has legs, but it can't walk.
What is it?
A dead bird!!!
Jessica García Ruiz & Alba Sánchez
This is a man who goes to a fruit orchard and he said "I have all flavors of peaches"
This man tells you that "you do not have peaches flavored strawberry"
orchard and said "look test"
and the man said "it is true"
but certainly do not have a peach flavored pussy.
and the orchard he said "look test"
man, said the test "this tastes like ass"
and orchard "pussy post give back"
JOSE MANUEL CREGO CREGO 4ºA
A man calls for telephone to a mental hospital and question: - Who there are in the room 24? - Nobody. - Well!!! Then I have escaped!
Raquel Fernández Pulido. 4ºA.
Jo, uncle, I take a fly-catching it raises, I have received the anonymous one. - If?, of whom?
Hear, this where another side of the street? - There face. - Impossible, before they have said to me that it was here.
- It hears, your as you call? - I?. Welcome ... - Walk, as my doormat!!!
For that the Galicians put stairs to the shore of the sea? - In order that it raises the tide.
Raquel Fernández Pulido. 4ºA
A boy goes out with de friends. The boy promises to his mother that he will be of return before the midnight but, the party gets longer, with drunkenness, and he came back at three o’clock.
In this moment, the clock gave three rings and he being afraid of his mother who wakes up, imitates the rings "dang, dang ..." nine times more for that she thinks that it is midnight.
In the next morning, her mother asks him:
-“What time did you come?”
-At midnight, mum!
-Ok, ok. Listen me, we are going to buy other clock.
-Why?
-Yes, it may be spoilt.
-No! But if it say the hour very good!
-Oh yes, very well. Last night it gave three rings, it did a pause, gave four rings, it was sick, it gave three rings more, it farts, it gave two rings and it began to laugh.
Alba Sánchez Fernández 4ºA
A bus of Spanish goes to Manchester. The English men were waiting for them impatient, but the Spanish didn’t want to go down the bus, they were scared. In this moment an English man appears and he ask them:
- Why don’t you go down the bus?
- Oh, because there is neon sign and it says: “Well come”, and so until they don’t tie him, we don’t go down!
Alba Sánchez Fernández 4ºA
This is a black couple who had to go to a party disguise.
When the husband comes to work and he see a Spiderman disguise on the bed and said:
-- Sara, but where you have seen a black Spiderman? I need another costume!
The next day at the same time is another disguise, this time Superman:
-- Sara, but where you've seen a black Superman?
The woman already tired the next day she puts on the bed two white buttons, a white belt and a stick of wood. The husband surprised, ask for it and she replied:
- It is for your disguise. You naked and you puts the buttons and you go the domino. If you do not like you put a white belt and you go the cookie "oreo", and if not, you introduce the stick by the ass and you go to the "Magnum"!!!
ALBA MUÑOZ ESTEBAN 4ºA
Two men raise to a elevator and one tells the other:
-What floor?
The another answer:
-My FOOT silly!!
Alba Muñoz Esteban 4ºA
Alba Muñoz Esteban 4ºA
Why men sit with their legs open???
For that they not flatten the brain!!
A grandfather what says to hisgrandson:
" Child, how he is called the German who me hides the things "?
And the grandson answers him:
" Alzheimer grandfather, Alzheimer.
ALVARO GONZALEZ GALLARDO 4º A
-To what do not you know what one sees from the highest building of Toronto?...
-To Toronto entire
- To what do not you know what one sees from the highest building of Toronto?...
-To Toronto entire
alvaro gonzalez galllardo 4ºa
The mother of a very poor family says to his son:
- child, takes the earthenware jar.
And the child says to him:
- What? Do we change, mother?
ALVARO GONZALEZ GALLARDO 4ºA
This is a rabbit and a bear who were walking and They find a lamp with a genious into in, Then They rub to the lamp and the genious leave and say to them:
¡I can give you three wishes!
The bear ask for his first wish and say: I want all bears of this forest to be girls, to make love to all of them.
After the rabbit also ask for his first wish and say: I want a helmet, the bear ask for 2 second wish and say: I want all the bears be girls, to make love to all of them.
Then rabbit ask for his second wish and say: I want a motorbike; and the genious say to them that it is their third and last wish and the bear say to him: I want all bears of the world to be girls, to make love to all them, and the rabbit get on to the motorbike, he wears his helmet, he starts the motorbike and say: I want the bear to be gay.
JA, JA, JA!!!
Ana Mª Moreno de los Reyes 4ºA
CRISTINA DIAZ DE LA RICA 4ºC
There are three men, each of them have different features: bald man, lame and deaf.
- the deaf says: I hear steps
- the bald man says: the hair of top puts on me.
- the lame says: fast, we are going to run!!!!
There are 29 English and 1 basque in a plane. They a have an accident, but there are only 29 parachutes.
In this moment the basque say "No problem! I have own parachute!!"
The English throw themselves of the plane and finish, the basque too.
They see that the basque don't open his parachute, and when they come to land, ask him "Why don't you open your parachute?"
The basque opens his hand and say "Reflex! For falls, chafings..."
Alba Sánchez 4ºA
Ups,
Why didn't open...?
There are 29 English and 1 basque in a plane. They a have an accident, but there are only 29 parachutes.
In this moment the basque say "No problem! I have own parachute!!"
The English throw themselves of the plane and finish, the basque too.
They see that the basque don't open his parachute, and when they come to land, ask him "Why didn't you open your parachute?"
The basque opens his hand and say "Reflex! For falls, chafings..."
Delete the other two please Cesar!
Alba Sánchez 4ºA
There are three children in a park. One says:
- My father is the fastest, because he throws a dart, and before that it comes to the dartboard, he can catch it.
Other says:
- No, no!! My father is the fastest, because he shoots to an animal and before dead it, he catches the bullet.
- And other says:
- Silly things!! My father is the fastest, because he goes out of the work at three o'clock, and he is in my home at one o'clock!!!!
Alba Sánchez 4ºA
This is a story that happened to Fernando to our class (4 C).
One day was with a girl in the commercial centre of Puebla de Montalban (ElFaro) and were 8 or 9 and 30 o'clock in the afternoon and all shops remained closed and there were the latter, then the woman to see that it was nobody hill doors and Fernando and his girlfriend were inside and could not leave but there were some guys out and say to the woman who opened that had people inside and finally left there.
JACOBO MUÑOZ DE LA ROSA 4ºC
Which is the bull that he arranges to the cows?
The mechanical bull.
A lady enters to the butcher's shop and says:
Deme this head of pork of there.
And the butcher answers:
Lady excuses, but it is a mirror.
How do you support a occupied idiot?
( He reads down)
How do you support a occupied idiot?
( He reads above up).
Raquel Fernández Pulido 4ºa
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